Emily Dickinson |
Jorge de Sena |
Google |
Comments |
A Letter is a Joy of Earth |
Uma carta é uma alegria da Terra |
Uma carta é uma alegria da Terra - |
Identical |
It is denied the Gods - |
- Denegada aos Deuses. |
É negado aos deuses - |
Google respects more the informal level of the original; Sena is more formal, on the other hand he reproduces the alliteration. |
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A sepal, petal, and a thorn |
Sépala, pétala, espinho. |
Um sepal, uma pétala e um espinho |
Google did not notice the alliteration. It placed an article before each noun (generalized the article in the original in the first and last noun. It did not know how to translate 'sepal'. Sena removed the article, maintained the alliteration and the assonance. |
Upon a common summer's morn - |
Na vulgar manhã de Verão - |
Em uma manhã de verão comum - |
Google did not respect the rhythm but translated the language level in a more appropriate way; appropriate lexical choice. Sena chose a strange (vulgar) lexical alternative but achieved an alliteration. |
A flash of Dew - A Bee or two - |
Brilho de orvalho - uma abelha ou duas - |
Um flash de Orvalho - uma Abelha ou dois - |
Neither Google nor Jorge de Sena respected the internal rhyme (Dew/two), compensated by Sena by an alliteration (lh). Google kept 'flash' (it could be Haroldo de Campos). Google did not respect the 'bee' gender. |
A Breeze - a caper in the trees - |
Brisa saltando nas árvores - |
Uma brisa - uma alcaparra nas árvores - |
Google translated literally, did not relate the words, did not create a context that would indicate that 'a caper in the trees' is impossible. Sena chose 'jumping', a hypernym (cabriola?), but which favors the rhythm. |
And I'm a Rose! |
- E sou uma Rosa! |
E eu sou uma rosa! |
Google and Sena both lose the rhyme (Breeze/trees). The Google translation is more literal and seems more correct. Sena omitted the 'I', privileging the rhythm. |
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Afraid? Of whom am I afraid? |
Ter Medo? De quem terei? |
Receoso? De quem tenho medo? |
Google didn't respect the intentional repetition of 'afraid', neither did Sena, but he did respect the rhythm. |
Not Death - for who is He? |
Não da Morte - quem é ela? |
Não a morte - para quem é ele? |
Google made no connection between 'fearful' and the proper pronoun (grammatical error). |
The Porter of my Father's Lodge |
O Porteiro de meu Pai |
O Porteiro da Loja do Pai |
Sena omitted 'lodge', Google translated it wrongly (store). The meaning in English is not very clear (hut, inn?) |
As much abasheth me. |
Igualmente me atropela. |
Tanto abadesa-me. |
Old English form (abasheth) for reasons of rhythm (?), not recognized by Google. If you switch to 'abashes', Google translates as ‘me aborrece' |
Of Life? 'Twere odd I fear [a] thing That comprehendeth me In one or more existences - |
Da Vida? Seria cómico Temer coisa que me inclui Em uma ou mais existências - |
Da vida? "É estranho, eu tenho medo [a] coisa Isso me compreende Em uma ou mais existências - EDITED: Era estranho temer [uma] coisa Que me compreende Em uma ou mais existências’ |
Old, poetic "Twere" form not recognized by Google. 'estranho' (Google) probably more appropriate than 'cômico' (Sena). Article [a] not recognized by Google. After editing the verses regularizing them (It were odd I fear [a] thing that comprehends me in one or more existences), Google's translation sounds like this: ‘Era estranho temer [uma] coisa que me compreende em uma ou mais existências’. In this case, the Google translation is not absurd. Sena omits [a]. Google omits nothing. |
At Deity decree - |
Conforme Deus estatui. |
No decreto da Deidade - |
Sena translates 'Deity' as 'Deus' (debatable), Google is correct translating it by 'Deity'. Google maintains the alliteration. |
Of Resurrection? Is the East |
De ressuscitar? O Oriente |
Da ressurreição? O Oriente |
Neither Sena nor Google respects the capital letter of 'Resurrection', but Google translates the noun by a noun. Resuscitate' may simply refer to 'restore, revive'. 'Resurrection' is a religious concept. |
Afraid to trust the Morn |
Tem medo do Madrugar |
tem medo de confiar na manhã |
Sena dubiously translates 'Morn' as 'madrugar', but keeps the rhythm. Google retains the lexical sense, but loses the rhythm. |
With her fastidious forehead? |
Com sua fronte subtil? |
Com sua testa fastidiosa? |
The word 'subtle' does not seem to be a better translation than simply 'fastidiosa'. Both Sena and Google lose the assonance (fastidious forehead). |
As soon impeach my Crown! |
Mais me valera abdicar! |
Daqui a pouco impeque minha coroa! |
Sena translates the idea well, but loses the 'crown', loss of concrete content. Google does not recognize 'impeach'. |
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From here the English version has been edited to facilitate machine translation. |
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By a departing light |
A uma luz evanescente |
Por uma luz de partida |
Edited version: "By a departing light we see acuter, quite, than by a wick that stays." |
We see acuter, quite, |
Vemos mais agudamente |
vemos um pouco mais |
Sena ennobles, Google did not interpret the right sentence/verse, did not link with 'We see'. |
Than by a wick that stays. |
Que à da candeia que fica. |
Do que por um pavio que permanece. |
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There's something in the flight |
Algo há na fuga silente |
Há algo no vôo |
Loss of assonance (acute/quite) in both Sena and Google. (There's something in the flight that clarifies the sight and decks the rays.) Loss of rhythm in Google translation. Sena ennobled ('silente'; according to the Priberam dictionary: 'poetic language'). The Google version is literal and, in this case, wrong, for choosing the false alternative of the homonym 'flight'. Lack of rhythm in the Google version. |
That clarifies the sight |
Que aclara a vista da gente |
Que esclarece a visão |
Here, curiously, Sena chose a more popular version (da gente), contrary to his habits. |
And decks the rays. |
E aos raios afia. |
E a plataforma dos raios. |
The meaning of 'deck' here is not very clear, neither for Sena nor Google apparently. (Deck = 1 adorn, apparel (archaic) array, attire, beautify, bedeck, bedight (archaic) bedizen (archaic) clothe, decorate, dress, embellish, engarland, festoon, garland, grace, ornament, trim) The translation 'platform' has nothing to do with it, would it be 'embelezar'? |
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Next step: correct the translated unedited version by the edited version. Edited version: I died for beauty - but was scarce adjusted in the Tomb, When One who died for Truth was lain In an adjoining Room - He questioned softly why I failed? "For Beauty," I replied - "And I - for Truth - Themself are One - We Brethren are," He said - And so, as Kinsmen met a-Night - We talked between the Rooms - Until the Moss had reached our lips - And covered up - our names - |
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I died for beauty - but was scarce |
Morri pela Beleza - mas mal eu |
Eu morri por beleza - mas era escasso |
Eu morri por beleza - mas foi escasso no túmulo, quando alguém que morreu pela verdade estava preso em uma sala adjacente - ele questionou suavemente por que eu falhei? "para a beleza", eu respondi - "e eu - para a verdade - eles são um - nós, irmãos, somos", disse ele - e assim, como os parentes encontraram uma noite - falamos entre os quartos - até que o musgo tivesse chegado aos nossos lábios - e coberto - nossos nomes - Google wrongly translates 'scarce' and 'adjusted' separately (poorly accommodated) |
Adjusted in the Tomb, |
Na tumba me acomodara, |
Ajustado no túmulo, |
Sena translates 'Tomb' as 'tumba', Google as 'túmulo'. The discussion as to which of the two is more appropriate is relevant. There is a slight rhyme room/tomb that is respected by Sena (accommodate/detach). Of course, Google does not notice. As far as 'adjoining room' is concerned, Google 'an adjoining room' is more literal and matches more with what follows 'we talked between the rooms', which is a bit odd in the version if Seine, when he needs to translate 'we talked between the Rooms'/ 'From room to room we talked'. |
When One who died for Truth was lain |
Um que pela Verdade então morrera |
Quando (um) alguém que morreu pela verdade estava lá |
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In an adjoining Room - |
A meu lado se deitava. |
Em uma sala adjacente - |
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He questioned softly why I failed? |
De manso perguntou por quem tombara… |
Ele questionou suavemente por que eu falhei? |
Strangely enough, Sena translates "why" as "by whom. The rhythm in his translation, however, is much better. |
"For Beauty," I replied - |
- Pela Beleza - disse eu. |
"Para a beleza", respondi - |
‘For' is translated as 'para' instead of 'por' by Google. Sena, on the other hand, does not respect the repetition of 'for' which makes the poem incomprehensible. |
"And I - for Truth - Themself are One - |
- A mim foi a Verdade. É a mesma Coisa. |
"E eu - para a verdade - eles mesmos são um - |
Also the translation of 'Themself are One' is translated by Sena a bit coarsely as 'É a mesma coisa', when Google is able to capture a better tone with 'are one' this time, being more faithful to the original. In another edition, this verse says: "And I for truth,-the two are one;". |
We Brethren are," He said - |
Somos Irmãos - respondeu. |
Nós, irmãos, somos", disse ele - |
Again, the Google version is more literal, as expected, and sounds more poetical. |
And so, as Kinsmen met a-Night - |
E quais na Noite os que se encontram falam - |
E assim, quando (como) os parentes encontraram uma noite - |
Here again, Sena's translation seems to give a wrong impression of the poem. 'those who meet speak' suggests that it is a repetition, a habit, which is not the case. |
We talked between the Rooms - |
De Quarto a Quarto a gente conversou - |
Conversamos/falamos entre os Quartos - |
Sena respected the rhythm. One can notice the use, again, of 'a gente' that seems to be out of touch with the general, more solemn tone of the poem. |
Until the Moss had reached our lips - |
Até que o Musgo veio aos nossos lábios - |
Até o musgo ter atingido/ tivesse chegado aos nossos lábios - |
Here, in neither case the rhythm of the verse has been respected. |
And covered up - our names - |
E os nossos nomes - tapou. |
E coberto - nossos nomes - |
Google has difficulty with homonymous forms (covered) which results in a wrong translation. |