SOCIAL NORMS OF SEXUAL INITIATION AMONG ADOLESCENTS AND GENDER RELATIONS

Com o objetivo de identificar normas e expectativas sociais que cercam a iniciação sexual, foram estudados quatro grupos focais com adolescentes de 14 a 18 anos de idade, em 2006, na cidade de São Paulo, Brasil. Os dados mostraram que as questões de gênero estão claramente presentes nos discursos dos entrevistados e mostram-se fundamentais nas escolhas sobre o momento, as parcerias e as práticas contraceptivas que circundam a vivência da primeira relação sexual. Os adolescentes tanto estão subordinados aos papéis de gênero tradicionalmente atribuídos aos homens e mulheres, como a concepção de que o sexo é um instinto físico e incontrolável entre os garotos e a intrínseca relação entre amor, desejo e sexo entre as garotas, quanto têm papel preponderante para a manutenção de tais valores no grupo em que vivem.

This study aimed to identify standards and expectations regarding sexual initiation of 14 to 18 year-old adolescents in Sao Paulo, SP, Brazil, using data from four focal groups conducted in 2006.Results revealed that gender issues are clearly present in participants' reports and showed to be essential in their choices about the moment, partners and contraceptive practices in the first sexual relation.Adolescents are subordinated to gender roles, traditionally attributed to male and female genders, i.e. the notion that sex is an uncontrolled instinct for boys, and intrinsically and closely associated to love and desire for girls.Adolescents also play a preponderant role in the perpetuation of these values within the group they live in.DESCRIPTORS: adolescent health; sexual and reproductive health; gender and health

NORMAS SOCIALES DE INICIACIÓN SEXUAL ENTRE ADOLESCENTES Y RELACIONES DE GÉNERO
Con el objetivo de identificar las normas y expectativas sociales que se encuentran en la iniciación sexual, fueron estudiados cuatro grupos de adolescentes entre 14 y 18 años de edad, en 2.006, en la ciudad de San Pablo, Brasil.Los datos mostraron que las cuestiones de género están claramente presentes en los discursos de los entrevistados y se mostraron fundamentales en las elecciones sobre: el momento, el compañero y las prácticas contraceptivas que se encuentran en la vivencia de la primera relación sexual.Los adolescentes están subordinados a los papeles de género, tradicionalmente atribuidos a los hombres y a las mujeres, y al concepto de que el sexo es un instinto físico e incontrolable entre los muchachos, y a la intrínseca relación entre el amor, el deseo y el sexo entre las muchachas; estas percepciones tienen también un papel preponderante para mantener estos valores en el grupo en que viven.

INTRODUCTION
The adolescence period is of great relevance for the public health area, especially in terms of sexual and reproductive health, because this is the phase when sexual practices, among which sexual initiation is highlighted, assume a specific character.Sexual initiation definitely places individuals in important contexts of vulnerability to sexually transmitted diseases (STD and AIDS), non-planned pregnancies and abortions.Thus, it is important to learn their motivations, contexts in which they occur and their implications for health.
One of the aspects that determine choices regarding the moment, partner and context in which it occurs is related to peer pressure.Hence, sexual initiation for boys is a way to express the process of becoming a man, the consolidation of masculinity, which can only be achieved among a group of equals.
Therefore, "having the first sexual experience is not an automatic guarantee of a new status.Peers' acknowledgment is necessary because it confers legitimacy to the passage" (1) .A code of conduct was observed, prescribing that, at a certain moment, virginity becomes a weight in adolescents' lives and operates as an element of pressure (2) .
Sexual initiation can be encouraged, among others, due to the diffusion of the sexual behavior model dictated by peers, molded by the meaning culturally attributed to sexuality, in which men's role is not to resist to sexual impulse and women's role is to control their impulse, ratifying gender relations, present in the sexual initiation scenario (1) .
Differences in men's and women's sexual initiation are well described in population studies that analyze data through the gender variable because, most of the times, men's sexual initiation occurs earlier than women's (2)(3) .
Gender issues have been considered essential in choices that surround the first sexual relation, because "the feeling of 'giving themselves' is unanimous among women in relation to the sexual act, conferring it value, that is, virginity is something "rare".At the same time as there is a desire to discover, the need for "self preservation" is imposed.The male experience, on the other hand, is translated into two attitudes: first, sexual performance is seen as a gain, supporting the power of masculinity, and second, it is definitely a romantic attitude in which men seek to 'give themselves" at the right moment to the right partner" (4) .
This study assumes that men and women have different motivations for engaging in sexual life, which are the result of the construction of their identities based on gender relations.It cannot be ignored that adolescents are inserted in a friendship network that is their basic space for socialization.And their peers are not only subjected to normative norms of sexual behavior, but also reinforce these norms in their relations within the group.In this perspective, this study aimed to identify norms and social expectations surrounding sexual initiation in a group of adolescents, devised as from the particular meanings expressed in their reports.

METHOD
This qualitative study used the focal group technique with a semi-structured script.The study population was composed of 14 to 18 year-old adolescents, students from a public school in the East of Sao Paulo, SP, Brazil.Data were collected through four focus groups conducted in June 2006.Two were composed of girls (11 and eight participants) and two of boys (seven and six participants).The option to conduct groups separately by gender aimed to make participants feel at ease so as to expose their points of view without any reticence that could possibly occur in the presence of the opposite gender.
The choice of classrooms, where participants were invited to participate in the study, was the school's suggestion, so as to include younger adolescents (between 14 and 16 years old, attending the eighth grade of primary education) and older ones (between 16 and 18 years old, attending the second grade of secondary education).
The main themes used to guide discussions were: adolescents' daily life in the community they live in; affective/loving relationships in adolescence; and expectations and social norms that guide Data analysis was based on thematic content analysis (5) .The more relevant themes expressed in the adolescents' reports were identified, associated both to their perception and behavior regarding expectations and potential pressure exerted by their socio-cultural group related to the first sexual relation.

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
The analysis of focal groups allowed identifying some differences between genders that affect adolescents' daily life, also essential in the orientation of their sexual behavior.The highlighted themes were: 1) expectations in relation to the opposite gender; 2) sexual initiation; 3) expectations and control of family, neighbors and peers and 4) sexual initiation and health.

Expectations in relation to the opposite gender
Adolescents were encouraged to discuss how they saw and how they would like to be seen by the opposite gender.Reports revealed that men and women have different expectations in relation to the other, which shows disagreement in the social roles they will eventually play.Thus, girls expect boys to be responsible, respectful and committed.
For girls, being respected and valued, that is, becoming girlfriends and not only "flirtation" is what is at stake.Boys also expect girls to be serious in relation to affective relationships and sex issues, especially in terms of fidelity.Virginity does not appear as the central objective, but monogamy and loyalty do.That is, the essential issue seems to be the preservation of male honor and not the female behavior per se, because for boys, female fidelity is more important that virginity (6) .

As long as they don't cheat, aren't unfaithful to their
husbands [what is expected from girls] (M3).
Adolescents are fully aware of social expectations regarding their behavior and feel responsible for the image others might have of their attitudes.Thus, some behaviors like restricting the number of boyfriends and sexual partners, as well as resisting boys' sexual overtures, might result from the attempt to maintain social valorization.
I think like: it's the girl who has to demand respect (F2).

Sexual Initiation
The decision of men and women regarding sexual initiation is based on a well-defined criterion: the right moment.The definition of this criterion, however, differs according to gender.
Idealization of the first sexual partner: trust to give oneself For women, the right moment for the first sexual relation consists of trusting the partner, which is probably more important than love.Trust includes the partner's respect: he should neither talk to friends about the sexual relation -which would make the virginity issue leave the private scope and become public, putting girl's moral at risk -nor even disappear after the conquest, confirming the female desire of deepening the relationship in a more serious commitment (4) .Trustiness is also important because virginity can be seen as a gift and it is, in a certain way, well kept.In other words, for girls, "the first sexual experience is understood in terms of 'giving themselves', whose legitimacy occurs in a consolidated affective relation (dating), concretized at the moment the partner is introduced to the family, after which he asks permission to date the girl" (6) .
Sexual initiation as a ticket to the adult world Among adolescents, the right moment to be sexually initiated also includes the stage in life in which girls feel mature.Maturity can be signalized by insertion in the job market and consequent financial autonomy, and also by age, so one can assume potential consequences of sexual life like pregnancy, partner's abandonment or even negative evaluation of their behavior.
In my opinion, I think that, when I get a job, when I'm independent, then yeah, it'll be time to do whatever I want…(F14).
Reports described in studies that used indepth interviews indicate that, for girls, sexual initiation puts them as authors of their acts, requiring responsible attitudes, decision making and, consequently, responsibility for their actions, which definitely include them in a more adult universe (1,4) .
Playing games in dating: resisting or giving in?
Another issue reported as motivation to initiate sexual relations is the pressure exerted by boyfriends.To give in may mean the assurance of having a boyfriend around and preventing him from going to look for other women who may satisfy his sexual needs.Among girls, there is a disseminated idea that men's need for sex is uncontrollable.

There're girls who have sex only because the boyfriend wants it (F5).
There're no guys who'd wait two months to have sex…(F6).
Anyway, girls are the ones who decide when the first time will be and, in this game, there is an intense and constant movement of resistance and insistence, in which girls are constantly weighing the pros and cons of sexual initiation.There is also a fragile balance, faced by girls, between the resistance rule and risking to lose their partner (7) .In this perspective, the "dilemma between giving in or not, or yet, giving in to what point, is oftentimes weighed under the perspective of a sexual market where 'easy' women are abundant" (7) .As it is up to the woman to determine the rhythm and dynamics of the relationship (6) , refusal is generally based on subterfuges to deny or postpone initiation and even boys fully understand the alleged reasons and confidently present the differences between men and women regarding their sexual nature.The male sexual need was understood in this study as more frequent and intense than the female, in the same way it was described in other studies carried out with low-income adolescent groups (1,(7)(8) .
For men, it can be anytime.It's different for women, it's 'today I'm not in the mood, I'm tired, I have a headache (M8).
Sexual initiation before marriage is inevitable Reports are clear that there's no way to keep [female] virginity until marriage (F4).Thus, the issue is related to whom the girl will have her first sexual relation with, since losing virginity is inevitable.
Changes in current social rules that dictate affective relationships among adolescents allow for greater parental tolerance and sexual relations dissociated of marriage but it does not mean that there are no moral classifications regarding female behavior."A certain discretion, sexual relations subordinated to an affective bond and non-abusive multiplicity of sexual partners are still the rules to evaluate female honor among youngsters" (9) .

I think it's beautiful to marry virgin, don't know if I'll do it, because I guess it's really hard to do it, but I think it's essential to marry virgin (F12).
Thus, losing virginity is not commonplace.Its social value has somewhat diminished, however, women still take it into high account and men also give it attention.There is currently another perspective of virginity, however, in which it is considered a burden one has to get rid of (10) .
Even virgin girls tell they're not virgin, just to brag (M6).
Even though women are initiating their sexual lives increasingly earlier and the initiation age is closer to men's (2) , their motivations for sexual engagement still meet gender roles traditionally attributed to women, like love, romance and commitment to induce sexual practice.It has to be taken into account that the study population is composed of urban adolescents who live in a large city, so perhaps these results may not be generalized to adolescents who live in small towns or in rural communities.

Anytime is time
The right moment for boys' sexual initiation is based on the fact that male sexual needs are perceived as stronger and out of control (8) .Thus, the conception of the right moment is anytime is time (M11).Oftentimes boys feel compelled to have sexual relations, even if they do not feel ready or have desire to do it because they do not feel they have the right to say "no".Even the choice of a partner is denied if the boy is seduced.For this reason, male virginity is considered a weakness, since constant availability for sex is attributed to them.Because sex, for men, is viewed as an instinct, it naturally explains why men cannot deny it.The fear that their refusal becomes public is the social reason not to refuse it (7) .Thus, much more men than women have reported feeling compelled to maintain sexual relations (7) .This is the time; there is no right time for men [to have the first sexual relation] (M13).
The female group corroborates with the perpetuation of social pressure when they emphasize that men who stay virgin must have some kind of problem, otherwise they would already have found a sexual partner.This observation evidences that the choice regarding one's sexual initiation, or other areas of sexuality, is not exclusively individual, but socially and culturally determined.

Control and expectations of family, community and peers
The clear social control, which adolescents are generally subject to, is highlighted.It includes the observation of their behavior and later report of their parents' judgment.The intensity of this control seems to be the same for both genders, that is, men and women are subject to gossip and criticism as a consequence of their clothes, friendship, physical appearance, time of arriving and leaving home, among others.However, requirements used to establish and label adolescents were very diverse in terms of gender, that is, gender conceptions also form the basis of the mechanism that operates in the representations of this group who lives close to adolescents.
For girls, control means watching their behavior and evaluating their moral conduct.For boys, the concern is related to drugs consumption and trafficking, or yet the possibility of not getting a job.We observe that parents control their daughters' social behavior (11) , which can be indirectly done when parents try to dialog with them, aiming to stay informed about events in the sexuality area and love relationships, especially in relation to virginity.
It can also be directed, when parents decide whom they will be friends with, impose time to get back home, especially when they go out with boyfriends, and advise on the level of physical intimacy established with partners.Parental control in relation to male children is mainly exerted to assure the adolescent will become a hard worker and responsible person, much more than with regard to their sexual behavior.In the sexual initiation scenario, the control peers exert on women is mainly linked to the possibility of having other sexual partners.In this case, women are belittled as having passed through the hands of too many men, which is not the case for men.
Yeah, if [the girl] dates for a week with one and then with another… Then she is badmouthed (M2).
Sexual initiation before marriage is acceptable among women, as long as it happens within committed relationships with affective bonds and does not include too many sexual partners.This is possibly so because, according to the studied group's conception, female desire emerges only from a loving involvement with a partner, that is, desire originates from love, not instinct, like what happens for men (12) .
Girls who break the triangle of love, desire and sex are, in fact, deviating from a path that women would naturally follow in their sexual experience.
Pressure to initiate sexual life in case of men comes from their peers: boys have to lie to their friends when they are still virgin.Sexual performance is also always highlighted.Because they worry about the possibility of failing to have an erection, they tell many lies to their friends when they share their sexual experiences in order to impress them.In this perspective, the honor and masculinity of a man is measured by his sexual performance, leading to great commotion in case their performance is questioned (7) .
Social norms of sexual initiation among adolescents… Borges ALV, Nakamura E Rev Latino-am Enfermagem 2009 janeiro-fevereiro; 17(1):94-100 www.eerp.usp.br/rlaeconsideration that the importance of peers is transitory and such period is crucial between the progressive distancing from the family of origin and the constitution of a new one.Reports show that sexual initiation cannot be simply understood as the first sexual intercourse, but as a route adolescents follow, not linearly, with their own rules to be respected or refused, with setbacks and advances, experimentations and choices.It is clear to what extent the participants are subject to social rules that guide sexuality -largely influenced by still current gender relations -and to what extent they reproduce these standards in their daily life, unaware of inequalities created by these representations.It could be concluded that health professionals should understand the distance between the basic health unit and adolescents, because the latter do not fit into the traditional profile of priorities that services usually consider in their activity plan.The challenge in promoting sexual and reproductive health for adolescents is specially related to the understanding of conceptions they hold regarding the world and behaviors related to sexual life issues.These conceptions are guided by gender identities, built very early in their life, assimilated and repeated.Very few realize they are subordinated to pressure from peers and family in the area of sexual initiation.Therefore, health approaches and interventions should take into account that adolescents have individual and singular needs, which are molded in their relations with the other, whether the other is of the same gender or not, and that these relations are strongly marked by gender imperatives.
Finding a boy, especially at school, who respects you... one who sees you and says like 'wow this girl is so nice, good girl' … not 'this one, she's so naughty'… you know?(F4 * ).